Unregistered
June 6th, 2005, 10:47 AM
Dear pet-owning motorist-
Good evening. I wanted to introduce myself as the guy you decided to cut off because you had to take the most important call of all time while your ridiculously cute dog just has to sit on your lap while you drive, obstructing your view of everything involving your driver's side mirror and the lane to your immediate left.
I simply must appluad your amazing ability to multi-task. Not only can you talk on your cell phone, drive and groom your dog, but you can do it in traffic, driving in excess of 60 MPH! That's just phenomonal! Which is why I, am in now way, angry at you!!!
Your impeccable choice in animal is also to be marveled at. I'm so thrilled that you have the ability to groom your dog (which is no smaller than a full grown fucking collie) whilst driving and phone-sexing your childs friends.
As a small consideration to all other drivers, you may want to consider keeping this animal in a back-seat role. I only bring this up because it was quite obvious that you had just gotten Lassie washed and blow-dried due to the high fluff level, not to mention the fact that it's head sticking out your drivers side window. I could clearly see that you were leaning off to your right to view the road ahead and have a complete understanding as to why you cut me off. We have no problems!
I think you're doing a bang up job, especially with the 3 small children I saw in the back of your fucking explorer! One can only hope that the fire I originally hope you died in subsides after your skin has melted to the drivers chair in which you cause so many problems!
Have a wonderful day and thank you for your continous inability to think about any other driver on the road with you! Please enjoy your brand new highway, as we are gifting it to you and only you!
Fuck yourself.
Sincerely
Able to drive correctly.
Good evening. I wanted to introduce myself as the guy you decided to cut off because you had to take the most important call of all time while your ridiculously cute dog just has to sit on your lap while you drive, obstructing your view of everything involving your driver's side mirror and the lane to your immediate left.
I simply must appluad your amazing ability to multi-task. Not only can you talk on your cell phone, drive and groom your dog, but you can do it in traffic, driving in excess of 60 MPH! That's just phenomonal! Which is why I, am in now way, angry at you!!!
Your impeccable choice in animal is also to be marveled at. I'm so thrilled that you have the ability to groom your dog (which is no smaller than a full grown fucking collie) whilst driving and phone-sexing your childs friends.
As a small consideration to all other drivers, you may want to consider keeping this animal in a back-seat role. I only bring this up because it was quite obvious that you had just gotten Lassie washed and blow-dried due to the high fluff level, not to mention the fact that it's head sticking out your drivers side window. I could clearly see that you were leaning off to your right to view the road ahead and have a complete understanding as to why you cut me off. We have no problems!
I think you're doing a bang up job, especially with the 3 small children I saw in the back of your fucking explorer! One can only hope that the fire I originally hope you died in subsides after your skin has melted to the drivers chair in which you cause so many problems!
Have a wonderful day and thank you for your continous inability to think about any other driver on the road with you! Please enjoy your brand new highway, as we are gifting it to you and only you!
Fuck yourself.
Sincerely
Able to drive correctly.