Tip, cheap bitches, tip.

[Unregistered]

Tip your motherfucking barista. You know who you are and so do I. That jar with in front of you containing notes with the smug faces of Washington and Lincoln represent the gratuity of valued customers, you fucktard. Do you find it curious why you receive shit service. My contempt for you is deeply entrenched in my mind, so beware the duplicitous hands making your precious beverage. Oh, and you punk bitches nonchalantly tossing pennies and nickels my way, fuck you too. My jar is not affiliated with the Christian Children’s Fund, your seventy cents a day fails to pay my rent, groceries or bar tabs. Nor is that jar synonymous with the soiled and begrimed hands of street trash spare-changing my ass. So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

[weatherboy]

T.I.P.

TO. INSURE. PROMPTNESS.

Migrant farm workers make less than you do, and they actually supply us with FOOD. YOU, on the other hand, get paid around $9-10/hr to MAKE COFFEE AND GIVE IT TO PEOPLE. That's all. Actual bartenders work for tips and LEGALY make less than minimum wage sometimes! YOU want a 50% or more tip when you make the coffee you are PAID TO MAKE!

Let's do some simple math:
*An Average Latte' takes what...? - about TWO MINUTES or less to make.

*You want a DOLLAR for every Drink you make for people.

*Meaning if you worked your ASS off (right.) and made 30 drinks in one hour you would expect $30 in tips?

*OR even better, lets say you halved that. You only made 15 drinks in one hour...you'd expect $15 in tips? ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS!? That ON TOP of what you make already?

You think your job is hard enough to warrant $9-10 dollars an hour PLUS $15 an hour in tips!!!???

okay, okay. I know that the tip jar is usually split between the 4 people behind the counter. BUT, with four people behind the counter, you can do MORE BUSINESS (and you usually have more than one person making drinks at a time), so it all works out.

Bottom line is:
1. A tip is to INSURE PROMPTNESS, it's given for stellar service, not for doing what you are PAID ALREADY TO DO.

2. A GOOD tip is MAYBE 20%, NOT 50%, what asshole waiter would bitch at you for not giving him $50 on a $100 tab?

3. You serve coffee. That's it.

4. Your job is only stressful when the morning rush is happening. (IF you can call THAT stress)

5. US give you money for YOUR bar tabs? If you can't afford to drink, DON'T. Or, get a better job! I'd sooner give a BUM money for booze than someone who has a pretentious job like yours.

6. You should personally kiss the ass of every person who has ever given you a RED CENT, cause they don't owe you SHIT for doing your JOB.

[Northbysoutheastseattle]

Tip your motherfucking barista. You know who you are and so do I. That jar with in front of you containing notes with the smug faces of Washington and Lincoln represent the gratuity of valued customers, you fucktard. Do you find it curious why you receive shit service. My contempt for you is deeply entrenched in my mind, so beware the duplicitous hands making your precious beverage. Oh, and you punk bitches nonchalantly tossing pennies and nickels my way, fuck you too. My jar is not affiliated with the Christian Children’s Fund, your seventy cents a day fails to pay my rent, groceries or bar tabs. Nor is that jar synonymous with the soiled and begrimed hands of street trash spare-changing my ass. So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

Get a 'motherfucking' real job. Get a 'motherfucking' education. Stop crying that these 'punk bitches' with Degrees and real jobs don't tip you a dollar per drink you make. Seventy cents in one tip? You should bow down and kiss their feet.

If you're of legal age and still working as a barista you've failed. Plain and simple.

Put on your apron, a smile, a girlie title, and quit bitching.

[neilb]

You just convinced me never to tip another one of your kind ever again.

[soultaco]

So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

Look, I'm not averse to the concept of tipping a barista ... but why in the fucktastic fuck should I ever give a guy more for making a fuckin' latte than I would for serving me a full meal at a cheap diner? $1 for a $3 latte is a 33 percent tip. And you make a higher wage, minus tips, than a waiter does, too! No fuckin' way. You'll get change, and like it.

[Mrt1212]

no. ill start tipping baristas when they stop thinking they are entitled to tips. youre just glorified fast food employee without the crushing economic situation growing up.

[phil hartman's ghost]

Basic Thesaurus Usage: it is not necessary to look up a synonym for every adjective. It is actually discouraged, since doing do will send up a big red fucking flag to everyone that you are a jackass with a thesaurus.

There's your tip!!! Har har har, I'll bet that's the first time you've heard that!!

[i, of the storm]

Um, work restaurant for awhile, guys. You've gotta hustle and move as fast as phyisically possible for hours on end while simultaneously kissing customer ass. I bet half of you complaining about how "easy" a barista's job is are call center cubicle jocks anyway, now there's a "hard" job for you.

[phil hartman's ghost]

Um, work restaurant for awhile, guys. You've gotta hustle and move as fast as phyisically possible for hours on end while simultaneously kissing customer ass. I bet half of you complaining about how "easy" a barista's job is are call center cubicle jocks anyway, now there's a "hard" job for you.

I did. It sucked. I learned how to do something else, and now I make more money. Compassion for OP is low.

[weatherboy]

Um, work restaurant for awhile, guys. You've gotta hustle and move as fast as phyisically possible for hours on end while simultaneously kissing customer ass. I bet half of you complaining about how "easy" a barista's job is are call center cubicle jocks anyway, now there's a "hard" job for you.

restaurant work does not equal barista work. i've worked at a restaurant also, for MUCH LESS an hour than the average barista makes. I literally lived off of tips, barista's don't. i agree with Mrt1212, they're just glorified fast food servers who come from a better socioeconimic background. i busted ass when i worked at a restaurant, most barista's have tons of time to stand around, listen to music, and gossip. is that every barista out there? no. but, by and large that's the norm. there is still no reason people should tip anywhere from 33-50% for coffee...that isn't refilled. i'll tip someone for doing great work, but don't just expect tips for doing your paid job. i never did. but, i also realized that that kind of work sucks and i got an education and a good job.

[Dee Snarl]

Two words: learn to fuckin' type.




I just like saying that.

[Northbysoutheastseattle]

Um, work restaurant for awhile, guys. You've gotta hustle and move as fast as phyisically possible for hours on end while simultaneously kissing customer ass. I bet half of you complaining about how "easy" a barista's job is are call center cubicle jocks anyway, now there's a "hard" job for you.

90% of everyone I know has worked as a barista at one point of their life. It wasn't a bad starting job, but they all got educations/certifications and started their career. While I don't work in a call center, I do work in a cubicle- and I worked hard to get there.

No, I won't work in a restaurant. That hard work that got me to a cubicle is the exact reason why I don't work in retail or service. That hard work got me my pay. I grew up in a middle class family, this guy probably did too. He had the same opportunities I had- and he didn't utilize them. So he can cry me a fucking river if he's making minimum wage at 24 or whatever age he happens to be.

He seems like the beggar that expects people to give him money. Haven't you heard anonymous, it's always the courteous hobo's that get the most money. You should try that. Bum.

[Abulafia]

See, when I was young and poor, and worked as a barista / cocktail person / waitperson / counter person / retail person pulling in shit for a wage (ok, sometimes did ok with tips), I realized I was as much and didn't think I was more than that. I resented fuckheads who treated me like shit, sure, but I didn't expect a 50% tip on anything I did back then (nor do I now, come to think of it, though it would be nice), and I sure as hell wouldn't have acted as if my knowing how to pull a nice single shot or serve up a real cappuccino (which is foam, guys, no liquid milk) deserved anything but perhaps a 'thanks' and the payment of the tab.

It is not, simply put, rocket science. I am not here to pay a barista's bar tab or rent. That is her or his job. If her or his job cannot pay her or his bar tab, she or he needs a new fucking job.

Christ, I got one. Can't be that bleeping hard.

[zoe31602]

As everyone else in here has said: its honey that attracts the flys, not vinegar.

I'm a stay at home mom, still with the father, and I don't get $ to go to a bar tab. Its a snowball's chance in hell that I get money to go out anyway. I only bitch when it gets to two or three months of other's paying my way or I want to instigate an outing (in which case I hate it when people pay my way).

When I worked Cold Stone (shame's self here...) and again at a ritzy golf club restraunt, it was the days I smiled, filled that water glass quickly and was friendly with the customers that I got any kind of a tip. The days I expected my due and gave mediocre service were the days I went home lucky to have $5 in my pocket. Get over yourself chump.

What about the professions that DESERVE fucking tips but don't get em? Daycare is still a min wage job and I've got 10+ years of experience to back up my claim that those poor bastards DESERVE to be tipped. We put up with your whiny brats when you refuse to keep them home when they're sick. We teach them the life lessons of sharing, self entertainment, group interaction and manners while you spend that hour or two at the bar after work then pick them up in time to feed 'em and put 'em to bed.

So you don't get tips for being an ass? That you get tips at all is a privilege fucker.

[Wet Stain]

I love this hot button topic!!!! Never read about this before!!!

Over tippers balance the poor tippers for me. Expecting tips is a bad road for me to walk.
I certainly remember the guests that take care of me.


Let us pour fuel on the fire.....

"If you can't fold it, hold it!"

"Tips backward is spit."

[toasterhedgehog]

I tip a dollar every time. There are benefits from smart baristas. That's all I'll say about that. Shhh.

[Gomezticator]

If all I'm getting is drip coffee or tea, no tip, BUT if the barista prepares me a steamed drink, a buck per drink. Exception: making me an Americano because they ran out of drip.

[Mrt1212]

I tip a dollar every time. There are benefits from smart baristas. That's all I'll say about that. Shhh.

benefits from baristas pale in comparison to the money I save by not tipping them.

[zaniness]

I follow a simple rule! I give tips from 10 to 20% from the total amount of money spent!

[TheDude]

You want $2.50 for a freakin 6oz latte, and you want a buck tip on top of that? Get a clue blondie.

I worked the dish ring at Red Lobster for minimum wage when I was in HS. I didn't get ANY tips. Try THAT shit on for size then come back here bitching about how you didn't get a 50% + tip at your cush stoner barista job.

WHA!

You free-loading flunkies don't get shit from me. I've got an espresso machine, and I know how to use it.

[jfresh]

I follow a simple rule! I give tips from 10 to 20% from the total amount of money spent!


I follow a simple rule also. I dont bump shitty, year old threads about tipping. especially when there are like 10 other threads about tipping.

[Rhode Islander]

I follow a simple rule also. I dont bump shitty, year old threads about tipping. especially when there are like 10 other threads about tipping.If Seattle ranks 9th among American cities for median income, and second in terms of local charitable donations, you must really, really have to suck at your job to get stiffed on a regular basis.

You're doing it wrong because you're bad, and you should feel bad about that.

[bombastic_sam]

Tip your motherfucking barista. You know who you are and so do I. That jar with in front of you containing notes with the smug faces of Washington and Lincoln represent the gratuity of valued customers, you fucktard. Do you find it curious why you receive shit service. My contempt for you is deeply entrenched in my mind, so beware the duplicitous hands making your precious beverage. Oh, and you punk bitches nonchalantly tossing pennies and nickels my way, fuck you too. My jar is not affiliated with the Christian Children’s Fund, your seventy cents a day fails to pay my rent, groceries or bar tabs. Nor is that jar synonymous with the soiled and begrimed hands of street trash spare-changing my ass. So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

Shut the fuck up and do the job YOU chose.

[jfresh]

If Seattle ranks 9th among American cities for median income, and second in terms of local charitable donations, you must really, really have to suck at your job to get stiffed on a regular basis.

You're doing it wrong because you're bad, and you should feel bad about that.


charitable donations and tipping have absolutely nothing to do with eachother you asshole. now I see where you stand. I bet your a prick when you go out.

[kinaidos]

I only tip cute baristas. If you were a cute barista you wouldn't be complaining because everyone would tip you. Or perhaps one of your colleagues is particularly uncomely, thus spoiling your tipping chances. If that's the case you should convince him to quit his job and take up growing cannabis. No one minds buying cannabis from an ugly dealer. In fact you kind of expect that. If on the other hand it is indeed yourself who is aesthetically challenged, you might yourself think of a career better adapted to homely people: used book sales, airline baggage handling, bicycle repair, or direct marketing (to name just a few examples).

[Snakeman]

No one minds buying cannabis from an ugly dealer. In fact you kind of expect that.

That might be because the tips suck. Which do you think should warrant a larger gratuity, a sip of coffee or a toke of cannabis? Yet how many recognize service and excellence that is above and beyond the call when it comes to procuring cannabis?

I tip my hat to these unsung heroes of weed; regardless of how aesthetically pleasing they may or may not be.

http://www.seedsplaza.com/growing-marijuana.jpg

[ChemicalHazards]

So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.


Tipping is generally done out of courtesy NOT expectancy. You're an idiot.


What makes you think you deserve a tip if your contingency plan is to shit in someone’s coffee?


Might I suggest you stand at the local freeway off-ramp with a cardboard sign, you might have better luck... kisses!

[Melle]

"A crisp bill"? You SUCK, dude. If you can't make ends meet off the change, you need to work in a busier place. That's all.

[onepissedbitch]

Tip your motherfucking barista. You know who you are and so do I. That jar with in front of you containing notes with the smug faces of Washington and Lincoln represent the gratuity of valued customers, you fucktard. Do you find it curious why you receive shit service. My contempt for you is deeply entrenched in my mind, so beware the duplicitous hands making your precious beverage. Oh, and you punk bitches nonchalantly tossing pennies and nickels my way, fuck you too. My jar is not affiliated with the Christian Children’s Fund, your seventy cents a day fails to pay my rent, groceries or bar tabs. Nor is that jar synonymous with the soiled and begrimed hands of street trash spare-changing my ass. So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

You seem too smart to be serving people coffee and complaining about it. You should be smart enough to get a better job.

[onepissedbitch]

but I feel you on the tip thing.

[Loady Smurf]

Tip your motherfucking barista. You know who you are and so do I. That jar with in front of you containing notes with the smug faces of Washington and Lincoln represent the gratuity of valued customers, you fucktard. Do you find it curious why you receive shit service. My contempt for you is deeply entrenched in my mind, so beware the duplicitous hands making your precious beverage. Oh, and you punk bitches nonchalantly tossing pennies and nickels my way, fuck you too. My jar is not affiliated with the Christian Children’s Fund, your seventy cents a day fails to pay my rent, groceries or bar tabs. Nor is that jar synonymous with the soiled and begrimed hands of street trash spare-changing my ass. So politely place a crisp bill in the jar, or else your will drink an ill contrived piece of shit in a cup reflecting my heartfelt sentiment toward you. Kisses.

Get a better fucking job, knob-gobbler! Why don't you get a real job that requires a REAL TIP. Get a job at a fine-dining restaurant! They earn their keep. You have the NERVE to ask for a tip after RAPING me for some piddly cup of joe?? FUCK YOU! Not only do i NEVER TIP, i refuse to use your stupid terminology: Venti, GRande, Tall...FUCK OFF. Give me a goddamn large, bitch, and wipe that perky-ass smile off of your face. Your not a 'BARISTA", pretentious fuck-face, your one step above busser-scratch that! they do more than you. You don't do shit except make coffee. Dont expect shit from me! And another thing, you dont know me, stop trying to act like you do. I see you all behind your trendy, thick-cut glasses, thinking...judging. You prepare coffee, not planning an exit strategy out of Iraq. Give me a break, the problem with you is the problem with AMERICA, you feel everyone owes you something. you should be thankful you dont get my shitty-ass white mocha covering your face. Eat my tip and die.

PS....the nerve, today I am going to my local starbucks (which is 8 cuz they are on every goddamn corner! and I am going to STEAL the tip jar. The fact that they have the audacity to put one out is a slap in the collective face of us all)

[Rhode Islander]

PS....the nerve, today I am going to my local starbucks (which is 8 cuz they are on every goddamn corner! and I am going to STEAL the tip jar. The fact that they have the audacity to put one out is a slap in the collective face of us all)Well, this is the gulliest thing I've seen written here. There's a prize in it for you, somewhere.