Mr Sparkly Pants
June 7th, 2005, 11:08 PM
World Peace at Hand!
Bush, Rumsfeld Captured by USGDFF/UN;
Wolfowitz, Rice, Cheney, Others in Hiding
September 8, 2006
AP - WASHINGTON DC - The explosions, sporadic firefighting, and general
chaos that rocked the US Capitol for a third straight day has culminated in
the US Global Democracy and Freedom Force's capture of deposed dictator,
George W Bush and his secretary, Donald Rumsfeld.
Bush and Rumsfeld were apprehended this morning while attempting to board a small aircraft waiting near the smoldering ruins of the White House. The reviled Christian dictator and his chief architect of Iraqi genocide tried initially to bribe their captors. Before long, Bush -- restrained and clad only in white underwear -- taunted USGDFF soldiers to shoot him. "Jus' shoot me in the haid, pu--ies! Dew it! Bring it on!" Both are today en route to Guantanamo, Cuba aboard the aircraft formerly known as Air Force One. The pair could be charged internationally for war crimes as early as next week.
Red State insurgents and other less organized fundamentalist Christian terror forces are retreating to the rugged Appalachian foothills and caves, and have sustained heavy casualties. However -- according to a newly resurfaced videotape of Christian terrorist leader, Bill Frist -- they are believed to have successfully facilitated the flight of Bush's Secretary of Defense and mistress, Condeleeza Rice, and former vice president, Dick Cheney. Arrests of Bush's global crime syndicate associates, family members, and staff continue to take place throughout the country and in Israel, Iraq, and Afghanistan.
"It's been a long haul since Baghdad, but we’re rounding up all these pieces
of garbage" said USGDFF Commander, Thomas Wilson. "I only wish the thousands of US soldiers and half-million or so innocent Iraqis sentenced to death by Bush and his henchmen over the past three years were here to see this incredible change of events.”
“And we're going to get all of you" said Wilson, as he fixed his gaze
sternly into a Michael Moore film crew's television camera. "To all the Bush
cronies, Cheney's Halliburton pals, the far-right media propagandists and
their sponsors: All borders are sealed. You’re toast.”
“To Rice, Cheney, and you other fascist cowards: You can run, but you
cannot hide."
Just two years ago in Camp Udeira, north of Kuwait City, Commander Wilson -- then a mere specialist for what was then the US National Guard -- demanded in a press conference an explanation from Rumsfeld for the shoddy armaments afforded to soldiers in the Iraq War. After a typically smug and uncaring response from Rumsfeld, Wilson decided to get busy. The United Nations, with a few so-called Iraqi insurgents, and a handful of demoralized but brave and focused American soldiers organized by Wilson, were eventually successful in a coup against the American military complex and the exceedingly corrupt US government. With added assistance from virtually every corner of the globe, this action resulted in the most thorough mass consolidation of the armed forces in US history, and what is now considered the Second US Revolution.
“Didn’t know I had it in me,” confided Cmndr Wilson. “It’s hard work. Guess
I just went to war with the Army I had,” he added, as a huge blast toppled
the Washington Monument. “Ah. But democracy is so untidy,” shrugged Wilson, barely looking up as he lit a Cuban cigar.
Wilson continued: "I believe that with Israel now in line and true democracy
returned to the US, all people of the Mideast have a far better chance of
seeing some real changes. Changes that will benefit everyone and eventually bring peace and economic balance to the world."
Cmndr Wilson then gestured toward the burning US Capitol building, and
continued, "By removing the corrupt filth that once infested that place, and
especially the White House, we'll now rebuild, and get the world moving
again in a positive, peaceful direction. We can't lose. With Bush gone, we
have the whole world on our side. Even Iran, N. Korea, Russia, and Old
Europe now want to help."
The USGDFF/UN invasion of the United States last week was met with light
resistance from Red State insurgents, many of whom despite their past
posturing, threats, and plastic flags, promptly surrendered to French ground forces. The so-called Hillbilly Brigade, organized by fundamentalist Christian leaders and others in support of the Bush regime, were the last to fall, sending boys and girls as young as nine or ten to “fight” and die for their "Great Leader.”
“Unfortunately, it’s a Southern tradition to send children to die in battles
that they’re badly losing. Just look at the Civil War,” remarked an unnamed
USGDFF fighter pilot. “The Nazis did the same thing, of course.”
It was widely reported that many among the Hillbilly Brigade even believed
Bush was the "second coming" of Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, fundamentalist
Christian spiderholes and caves continued to be smoked out throughout many regions of the South, while Red State prisoner and internment camps overflowed with those captured throughout the week. All are in good condition, but some detainees are so fearful of the torture and neglect they themselves inflicted on the few USGDFF prisoners, that they could be heard by reporters begging for mercy and baying loud prayers. Some offered sexual favors to their captors in exchange for leniency.
“It's kind of funny, but mostly pathetic.”, remarked PFC Brian Smith, a
detention guard in W. Virginia. “We aren’t doing anything bad to them. They
can even watch TV and read their bibles. They're fed fried and barbecued meat six times a day, just like they’re used to. I guess they think because
they tortured, humiliated, and even ass-raped some of our guys, we're going to do the same to them.”
“That's what their Bush and Cheney-led America was all about. Ass-raping and torture," sighed Smith as he lit a prisoner’s cigarette.
“But not ours.”
-------------------------
-Mr Sparkly Pants
Bush, Rumsfeld Captured by USGDFF/UN;
Wolfowitz, Rice, Cheney, Others in Hiding
September 8, 2006
AP - WASHINGTON DC - The explosions, sporadic firefighting, and general
chaos that rocked the US Capitol for a third straight day has culminated in
the US Global Democracy and Freedom Force's capture of deposed dictator,
George W Bush and his secretary, Donald Rumsfeld.
Bush and Rumsfeld were apprehended this morning while attempting to board a small aircraft waiting near the smoldering ruins of the White House. The reviled Christian dictator and his chief architect of Iraqi genocide tried initially to bribe their captors. Before long, Bush -- restrained and clad only in white underwear -- taunted USGDFF soldiers to shoot him. "Jus' shoot me in the haid, pu--ies! Dew it! Bring it on!" Both are today en route to Guantanamo, Cuba aboard the aircraft formerly known as Air Force One. The pair could be charged internationally for war crimes as early as next week.
Red State insurgents and other less organized fundamentalist Christian terror forces are retreating to the rugged Appalachian foothills and caves, and have sustained heavy casualties. However -- according to a newly resurfaced videotape of Christian terrorist leader, Bill Frist -- they are believed to have successfully facilitated the flight of Bush's Secretary of Defense and mistress, Condeleeza Rice, and former vice president, Dick Cheney. Arrests of Bush's global crime syndicate associates, family members, and staff continue to take place throughout the country and in Israel, Iraq, and Afghanistan.
"It's been a long haul since Baghdad, but we’re rounding up all these pieces
of garbage" said USGDFF Commander, Thomas Wilson. "I only wish the thousands of US soldiers and half-million or so innocent Iraqis sentenced to death by Bush and his henchmen over the past three years were here to see this incredible change of events.”
“And we're going to get all of you" said Wilson, as he fixed his gaze
sternly into a Michael Moore film crew's television camera. "To all the Bush
cronies, Cheney's Halliburton pals, the far-right media propagandists and
their sponsors: All borders are sealed. You’re toast.”
“To Rice, Cheney, and you other fascist cowards: You can run, but you
cannot hide."
Just two years ago in Camp Udeira, north of Kuwait City, Commander Wilson -- then a mere specialist for what was then the US National Guard -- demanded in a press conference an explanation from Rumsfeld for the shoddy armaments afforded to soldiers in the Iraq War. After a typically smug and uncaring response from Rumsfeld, Wilson decided to get busy. The United Nations, with a few so-called Iraqi insurgents, and a handful of demoralized but brave and focused American soldiers organized by Wilson, were eventually successful in a coup against the American military complex and the exceedingly corrupt US government. With added assistance from virtually every corner of the globe, this action resulted in the most thorough mass consolidation of the armed forces in US history, and what is now considered the Second US Revolution.
“Didn’t know I had it in me,” confided Cmndr Wilson. “It’s hard work. Guess
I just went to war with the Army I had,” he added, as a huge blast toppled
the Washington Monument. “Ah. But democracy is so untidy,” shrugged Wilson, barely looking up as he lit a Cuban cigar.
Wilson continued: "I believe that with Israel now in line and true democracy
returned to the US, all people of the Mideast have a far better chance of
seeing some real changes. Changes that will benefit everyone and eventually bring peace and economic balance to the world."
Cmndr Wilson then gestured toward the burning US Capitol building, and
continued, "By removing the corrupt filth that once infested that place, and
especially the White House, we'll now rebuild, and get the world moving
again in a positive, peaceful direction. We can't lose. With Bush gone, we
have the whole world on our side. Even Iran, N. Korea, Russia, and Old
Europe now want to help."
The USGDFF/UN invasion of the United States last week was met with light
resistance from Red State insurgents, many of whom despite their past
posturing, threats, and plastic flags, promptly surrendered to French ground forces. The so-called Hillbilly Brigade, organized by fundamentalist Christian leaders and others in support of the Bush regime, were the last to fall, sending boys and girls as young as nine or ten to “fight” and die for their "Great Leader.”
“Unfortunately, it’s a Southern tradition to send children to die in battles
that they’re badly losing. Just look at the Civil War,” remarked an unnamed
USGDFF fighter pilot. “The Nazis did the same thing, of course.”
It was widely reported that many among the Hillbilly Brigade even believed
Bush was the "second coming" of Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, fundamentalist
Christian spiderholes and caves continued to be smoked out throughout many regions of the South, while Red State prisoner and internment camps overflowed with those captured throughout the week. All are in good condition, but some detainees are so fearful of the torture and neglect they themselves inflicted on the few USGDFF prisoners, that they could be heard by reporters begging for mercy and baying loud prayers. Some offered sexual favors to their captors in exchange for leniency.
“It's kind of funny, but mostly pathetic.”, remarked PFC Brian Smith, a
detention guard in W. Virginia. “We aren’t doing anything bad to them. They
can even watch TV and read their bibles. They're fed fried and barbecued meat six times a day, just like they’re used to. I guess they think because
they tortured, humiliated, and even ass-raped some of our guys, we're going to do the same to them.”
“That's what their Bush and Cheney-led America was all about. Ass-raping and torture," sighed Smith as he lit a prisoner’s cigarette.
“But not ours.”
-------------------------
-Mr Sparkly Pants