Unregistered
June 9th, 2005, 09:27 AM
Great. You can play a musical instrument. Whoopdi fuckin do. Oh! You
mean you can play the bagpipes! Wow! Now that's really unique. But
guess what...nobody at work wants to hear your shitty bagpipe playing.
While you have improved in the 2+ years that you have been torturing your
colleagues with your feeble attempts at Amazing Grace and Scotland the
Brave, the simple fact remains that your pathetic Gaelic cries for
attention are most unwelcome. The last thing I want to hear after I sit
through an hour long scientific talk is the dissonant inadvertent staccato
of your suppressed creativity.
It is odd that you would think a group of scientists would want to listen
to you play bagpipes in the confines of a 30' by 30' room while we attempt
to discuss the mysteries of biology. Perhaps you are attempting to
impress the ladies? If so, I can assure you that not even the most
sheltered and squirrelish female scientist, finds someone who looks like
the bastard son of Side-Show-Bob and Augustus Gloop blowing on a long rod,
attacked to goatskin sack, remotely attractive. And while I marvel at
your dogged determination to indoctrinate us with your own peculiar take
on Scottish classics, I would like to remind you that a biomedical
research facility is not the correct location for bagpipe practice. I
imagine that the reason you pace around the loading dock, late at night,
practicing over and over and over is because you are forbidden to do so at
wherever it is that you live. The reason for that is that BAGPIPES ARE
TOO FUCKING LOUD!!! They're designed to be played on the battlefield, to
stir the deep recesses of men's souls as they stride through battle
smashing the skulls of their enemies. And not surprisingly I can hear
them 3 stories up, through brick walls, eco-terrorist proof glass and
radiation shielding and they fill my head with visions of going downstairs
and smashing your skull with a titanium centrifuge rotor. What is your
fucking problem? Most people would take the hint when people offered them
money to stop playing or called security on them. But not you. Can't you
just go play somewhere else? Maybe you can track down that other fuzzy
headed pipe player Kenny G and you guys can have a smooth Scottish jazz
circle jerk somewhere.
mean you can play the bagpipes! Wow! Now that's really unique. But
guess what...nobody at work wants to hear your shitty bagpipe playing.
While you have improved in the 2+ years that you have been torturing your
colleagues with your feeble attempts at Amazing Grace and Scotland the
Brave, the simple fact remains that your pathetic Gaelic cries for
attention are most unwelcome. The last thing I want to hear after I sit
through an hour long scientific talk is the dissonant inadvertent staccato
of your suppressed creativity.
It is odd that you would think a group of scientists would want to listen
to you play bagpipes in the confines of a 30' by 30' room while we attempt
to discuss the mysteries of biology. Perhaps you are attempting to
impress the ladies? If so, I can assure you that not even the most
sheltered and squirrelish female scientist, finds someone who looks like
the bastard son of Side-Show-Bob and Augustus Gloop blowing on a long rod,
attacked to goatskin sack, remotely attractive. And while I marvel at
your dogged determination to indoctrinate us with your own peculiar take
on Scottish classics, I would like to remind you that a biomedical
research facility is not the correct location for bagpipe practice. I
imagine that the reason you pace around the loading dock, late at night,
practicing over and over and over is because you are forbidden to do so at
wherever it is that you live. The reason for that is that BAGPIPES ARE
TOO FUCKING LOUD!!! They're designed to be played on the battlefield, to
stir the deep recesses of men's souls as they stride through battle
smashing the skulls of their enemies. And not surprisingly I can hear
them 3 stories up, through brick walls, eco-terrorist proof glass and
radiation shielding and they fill my head with visions of going downstairs
and smashing your skull with a titanium centrifuge rotor. What is your
fucking problem? Most people would take the hint when people offered them
money to stop playing or called security on them. But not you. Can't you
just go play somewhere else? Maybe you can track down that other fuzzy
headed pipe player Kenny G and you guys can have a smooth Scottish jazz
circle jerk somewhere.