Vern Fonk Commercial

[pokervixxen]

They just keep getting worse! ewww! :eek:

[ParanoidDepression]

He brings a little bit of Seattle to the otherwise stuffy insurance industry.

[Agent_Desmond]

You know who else is having bad commericials? That lawyer who tells you not to be a weekend dad.

[Betty Fjord]

Is that the same guy who pimps his apparently all-female staff out in some of his commercials? I suppose it serves the purpose, which is to stand out from the typical lawyer-sitting-behind-mahogany-desk ads.

[Mrt1212]

He brings a little bit of Seattle to the otherwise stuffy insurance industry.

if this is a little bit of seattle, then our town is doomed!

[pokervixxen]

have you seen the zit? We are doomed!

[Agent_Desmond]

Yes. I can't tell you his name or what kind of law he practices (I assume family) , or what he looks like. Just that he pimps his staff out to get more weekend dad's to hir him.

Is that the same guy who pimps his apparently all-female staff out in some of his commercials? I suppose it serves the purpose, which is to stand out from the typical lawyer-sitting-behind-mahogany-desk ads.

[pokervixxen]

He sells SR22 insurance to losers with DUI's, why do they even let that commercial air?

[Agent_Desmond]

He and Vern Fonk should fight it out... in a steel cage.

He sells SR22 insurance to losers with DUI's, why do they even let that commercial air?

[raymondrna]

i think by worse you meant better.

Honk!!

[ParanoidDepression]

That divorce lawyer is creepy and so are his commercials. I get the feeling he would rape women if he thought he could get away with it.

[progrockfan]

I love the Vern Fonk commercials. To me that is real Seattle.

[Agent_Desmond]

Maybe he got his start as a defense attorney for sexual harrassment cases

That divorce lawyer is creepy and so are his commercials. I get the feeling he would rape women if he thought he could get away with it.

[guitrain]

Good Lord.. it's just a commercial and they are funny as hell too.

HONK

[Agent_Desmond]

Every time I walk by Vern Fonk it's quiet. Has anyone actually honked?

[Betty Fjord]

Oooooh-- that would be AWESOME!

He and Vern Fonk should fight it out... in a steel cage.

[Jennifer Maerz]

every city seems to have its resident cheeseball commercials. when i was growing up in portland it was tom peterson...and i still have an alarm clock with his face on it that chimes "wake up, hey, wake up to a happy day" on the set hour. i love the verk fonk commercials for how terrible they are...for late night tv trash, they're a helluv a lot better than the livelinks commercials. i keep telling the stranger they should work with verk fonk for strangercrombie one year...if fonk was into it, you could get a cameo in one of their spots, or mabye compete to write and direct a spot yourself...

[The Squeegee]

i am reminded of the "VF" shaved into his back, VH (Van Halen) style... and I'm snickering out loud at this boob-tube memory. heck, what more could a late-night TV commercial watcher want??? (aside, of course, from the highly addictive Vernzak (sp?) pills featured in one of their somewhat recent spots)

anyhow, FYI: a few years back or so the mostly-local band Critters Buggin hired Vern to MC one of their Seattle club shows. he did a helluva job (i hear).

[Gomezticator]

Indeed, Jennifer. Vegas had Glenn Lerner, The HEAVY HITTAH. He was this lawyer jock from New England who spammed local TV with his cheesy commercials.

And there was Fred from GMF Motors, an Arab used car salesman who had fake celebrities and cartoonishly dressed extras on and would punctuate every commercial with, "I can and I vill finance you." He kept getting busted for drug possession, though.

[Jimmy Flame]

He sells SR22 insurance to losers with DUI's, why do they even let that commercial air?

Losers eh? I know a some really decent people who got DUI's after drinking like 1-2 beers. Absolute crap.

[Mrt1212]

Losers eh? I know a some really decent people who got DUI's after drinking like 1-2 beers. Absolute crap.

were these anorexic 5'0" teenage girls?

[pokervixxen]

One or two beers is enough not to drive, if someone is going to be selfish enough to think they can drive after tipping back a few, they should pay the consequences.

[Thalassus]

"King & Bunny's" is pretty much my favorite bad local commercial right now. I like chasing my wife around the house screaming "KIIIIIING AND BUNNY'S" in a loud, gravelly voice, demanding she submit to my "Whammer deal".

[ParanoidDepression]

every city seems to have its resident cheeseball commercials. when i was growing up in portland it was tom peterson...and i still have an alarm clock with his face on it that chimes "wake up, hey, wake up to a happy day" on the set hour. i love the verk fonk commercials for how terrible they are...for late night tv trash, they're a helluv a lot better than the livelinks commercials. i keep telling the stranger they should work with verk fonk for strangercrombie one year...if fonk was into it, you could get a cameo in one of their spots, or mabye compete to write and direct a spot yourself...


I remember that guy. I hated that fucking flat top he had. He had these clocks and shirt and stuff that kinda became kitsch.

[Molotov]

I heard Flinn is losing weight! Can anyone substantiate this claim?!

...and that weekend dad lawyer is creepy.

http://www.vernfonk.com/img/scrnshots/ESCALADE.jpg
http://www.vernfonk.com/asp/videos.asp
http://www.vernfonk.com/asp/videos.asp
http://www.vernfonk.com/asp/videos.asp

HONK!

[damstraiht]

Yeah I called Vern Fonk but I had a problem. A clean driving record...

They suggested I try someone else as they are all "hard to place" insurance which I assume means expensive.

Any real Seattlelites remember Dick Balch? Every commercial he put a sledge hammer through the front windshield of a used car.

At least Cal Worthington got chased out of town rather quickly..

And what about the "Giant of the Valley" Mistubishi guy....nothing like chubby japanese (or whatever asian blood he is)dressed up like the jolly green giant

[Agent_Desmond]

I don't think Cal Worthington and his dog Spot were local. Have you ever seen Into the Night with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfhieffer (sp)? There is a scene where Jeff is fighting insomnia in Los Angeles and is watching an ad for Cal. But man... thinking back about him... I miss the guy.

And remember those ads with the man who goes "I won't be undersold!" and this his wife or girlfriend or whatever hits him in the face with a pie. Jack Roberts I think his name was.

[raymondrna]

this discussion made me think about a comercial I hadn't seen in a while .. maybe cause I don't watch Tv often enough .. but anyone remember the "I may be fat" guy who sold carpet? Like, feel bad for me and buy some carpet cause I'm fat guy? This was a fairly recent phenomena.

I forget what exactly he would say, but it always pissed me off.

"No, I don't want your fucking carpet. No, not even if you are fat."

Oh, I know what really pisses me off, those gutter commercials where that guy who never stops to take a breath ends the comercial as if the whole time we were witnessing a telethon fund raiser on KCTS by thanking callers in Tumwater et. al.

But, still, Vern Fonk rocks.

[ParanoidDepression]

this discussion made me think about a comercial I hadn't seen in a while .. maybe cause I don't watch Tv often enough .. but anyone remember the "I may be fat" guy who sold carpet? Like, feel bad for me and buy some carpet cause I'm fat guy? This was a fairly recent phenomena.

I forget what exactly he would say, but it always pissed me off.

"No, I don't want your fucking carpet. No, not even if you are fat."


Yeah that was Flin. The fat fucker. "I only know two things, I am fat, and I have the best prices in town" or some shit like that.

[Betty Fjord]

I thought Cal was local. But I liked his commercials... when I was a little kid, they were a big mystery. I used to wonder who this "Gussie Cow" creature was that the jingle's chorus mentioned. Plus that whole walking-on-a-plane-wing thing.

Jack Roberts was just annoying. No good jingles or anything. And his wife (?) was pathologically cheerful.

I don't think Cal Worthington and his dog Spot were local. Have you ever seen Into the Night with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfhieffer (sp)? There is a scene where Jeff is fighting insomnia in Los Angeles and is watching an ad for Cal. But man... thinking back about him... I miss the guy.

And remember those ads with the man who goes "I won't be undersold!" and this his wife or girlfriend or whatever hits him in the face with a pie. Jack Roberts I think his name was.

[ParanoidDepression]

I thought Cal was local. But I liked his commercials... when I was a little kid, they were a big mystery. I used to wonder who this "Gussie Cow" creature was that the jingle's chorus mentioned.

When I was a kid I thought it was "pussy cow" and I was like why the hell is a car commerical saying pussy cow?

[alithea]

i am reminded of the "VF" shaved into his back, VH (Van Halen) style...

this is possibly one of my favorite stories ever. i think i watched a segment on vern fonk on ... evening magazine maybe? where they showed that. most. metal. car insurance salesman. ever.

however. have we forgotten the queen of local commercial whores, sunny kobe cook? how glad am i to never have to see her ugly mug on my tv again.

[raymondrna]

I Wont Be Undersold!!

[pgreyy]

i am reminded of the "VF" shaved into his back, VH (Van Halen) style... and I'm snickering out loud at this boob-tube memory. heck, what more could a late-night TV commercial watcher want??? (aside, of course, from the highly addictive Vernzak (sp?) pills featured in one of their somewhat recent spots)

anyhow, FYI: a few years back or so the mostly-local band Critters Buggin hired Vern to MC one of their Seattle club shows. he did a helluva job (i hear).

I apologize if I'm wrong about this...but I'm certain that I've been told that the guy in the Vern Fonk ads isn't actually Vern Fonk...

And, not to continue to bum people out...the caterpillars in The Money Tree ads...those aren't really caterpillars...those are actors in bug costumes.

pg--Professional Bubble Burster and Dream Destroyer

PS--Why isn't anyone mentioning the BIGGEST catastrophe to hit regional advertising? The new Shane Company campaign--that trades in a lifetime of boring straight copy reads to try to make ironic use of their stuffy shirt spokesman. I'm sorry...but am I going to rush out and buy a diamond from Tom Shane now that he's an ironic pitchman? And now that they've stripped the make-up off of KISS, so to speak, what do they do next? I mean, they can't put the genie back in the bottle--they can't have Tom go back to doing straight copy reads--because now we KNOW that he's actually laughing at his own image...and I'm sorry, but how can I trust a man who I now know is actually laughing at those of us who actually believed that we had a "friend" in the diamond business. Some friend!

[Dr_Awesome]

Any real Seattlelites remember Dick Balch? Every commercial he put a sledge hammer through the front windshield of a used car.


Oh hell yeah! Jeez, that goes WAY back! He kinda looked like Sonny Bono too, if I recall correctly. But in those days, most used car salesmen did.

[Molotov]

I saw Fonk sitting at a desk and I thought it was the commercial with the guys with bad driving getting slapped, so I said to my housemate, "Oh look!" and pointed at the tv...

...only to see it was Fonk having a zit popped and then the guy popping it getting a puss facial and then Fonk's ugly mug with puss dripping down it; I completely fell apart and almost died from something.

[jin]

I'm so glad there is a thread on that guy. His Christmas commercial was so absurd and ridiculous.

[Betty Fjord]

am I going to rush out and buy a diamond from Tom Shane now that he's an ironic pitchman?

Well, hundreds of Seattle hipsters rushed out to buy Motley Crue t-shirts when they became ironic (and before they were carried by Target). The main reason it probably won't work for Tom is that his irony has been obviously manufactured by an ad agency from day one. If Motley Crue had reissued t-shirts on their website or wherever with a sort of "hey guys! Remember how cheesy we were?" pitch, I doubt that they would have caught on. It's not cool if it's self-effacing humor, because hipsterati always have to be the first ones in on the joke/trend.