"Where's Slats?": New On-Line Version

[carnivorous chicken]

I, Carnivorous Chicken, wrote the post below after seeing the article about the Mary Ellen Mark photos. But it was only today that I had a revelation: Open up the game of "Have you seen Slats?" to the online public in general. This will only work if you really know who Slats is, and if not, you could find out by asking someone who might be in the know (hint: aging punk rock types from Seattle). I hope Slats is still alive, otherwise the game won't really work, but I think as of last summer he still was. Here's some hints: usual haunts include Broadway/Capital Hill, and occasionally the U-District; Favored dress: that same damn New York Dolls inspired look, with broad brimmed hat, and (usually) black button up shirt opened to mid chest; physical description: kinda big nose, skinny, and, being a junkie (or maybe ex-junkie, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt), he goes through periods of being emaciated; usually has a cigarette dangling from his lips; not usually in such a bad state as to be nodding off and passing out in the street; it's winter, so it might be harder to spot him -- don't know where he holes up from the cold. So anyway, have you seen Slats?

I guess I'll start the game, but this is kind of cheating (although I live in a foreign country now, so I won't be seeing him in person any time soon, although I would like to keep up with his whereabouts).

I SAW SLATS! HE'S IN CYBERSPACE! Go to www.bestrockphotos.com (quite a boast for a site that features many snapshot quality photos, albeit of a few great bands from early Seattle and a few mediocre ones, but the song "The Worker Works To Live" by the 3 Swimmers did pop into my head), go to the photos pages, and look at the Silly Killers photos. You can see his nipple!

As for seeing Junior, shit, that's easy. Just truck on down the the Ave.

So anyway, HAVE YOU SEEN SLATS???!!! I guess if you could post a recent photo that would give you bonus points or something...

"Man, I am going to miss the new film on Tiny, as I'm out of town. But someone should seriously do a film on either Junior (from the Ave) or Slats. Junior is still an Ave Rat, and although he's aged a little, he still could sorta pass for a late teenager, although he's been doing it since the early '80s. He's even in the film Streetwise. I remember the good ol' days, spare changing in front of Space Port to buy a gram of weed off of whoever had it that day.
And then there's Slats, a Seattle institution, lover of broad brimmed hats and pirate-y white or black shirts, and (former? still?) junkie. He was in the semi-legendary band the Silly Killers (great song: "Knife Manual" -- and there's a flier from Slats up at Singles Going Steady offering to buy a copy of the single). There used to be a sort of running joke: the latest Slats sighting: "Oh yeah, I saw Slats on Broadway, leaning on a wall," "I saw Slats on Olive Way near Fallout..." etc.
Both worthy film subjects. And give Junior a quarter for me if you see him."

[bobcat]

Slats comes into Kincora on Pine and Belmont quite often.. sometimes 2-3 times a week he'll stumble in, get a drink and play some pool. Someone even dressed up as him for Halloween, quite epic. Come by sunday night when i'm DJing punk and metal if you need any more crap.

check out the Link Preservation society on myspace and also my own wikistak info on more Seattle Peculiars

http://groups.myspace.com/longlivelink

http://www.sleestak.net/wiki/index.php?title=Slats

[carnivorous chicken]

Way to go Mr. Bobcat, first blood! And a photo posted to boot, although it's an oldie from the looks of it. Checked out the site, might add that Slats predates the Lake Union Pub by about a decade or so. I don't need any more crap (?), thanks (?) for the offer, but I seem to have enough already in my life. So, who else has seen Slats? Any photos? By the way, let's keep the descriptive element of the game intact. What was Slats wearing when you saw him? What was he doing? How did he look? Where was he? Etc.

[ham in a can]

Tuesday, November 21, in the early evening, on Broadway, there was Slats, huddled in the doorway of Bank of America, smoking a cigarette. A damp looking cigarette dangled from his lips, his New York Dolls big black hat in full effect, and wearing a black leather jacket. Can't say how coherent he was, didn't stop to talk, but I have seen him!

[i, of the storm]

Um. I see that guy at my practice space just about every time I'm down there. I see him more than I do my girlfriend, this game sucks.

[carnivorous chicken]

This is a good start, but I, of the storm (if that's really the name on your driver's license) we need some details. Not "I've seen him before" or "I think I know who taht guy is" but "I saw him here at this time, wearing these clothes, shivering, or smoking, or making a payphone call, or arguing with a bum, or something. The world deserves to know Slats' whereabouts. Post a photo if you can. Make the world smile. Have a coke and a smile. Be the Pepsi generation. Be a Pepper.

[carnivorous chicken]

Damn, maybe Slats is dead, or disappeared. I just wanted an update, but nobody's seen Slats for ages. I am still clinging to hope. Where's Slats?

[poochiekafelnikov]

rod mckuen is a multiple...slats is a being in his mind stable...it/he has been penning stranger personal ads as of late....mainly for the unbearable sprightness of being...to charter worlds and all that shitza

[beatyoass]

Saturday, December 16, 2006. Approximately 7:30pm. Urban Outfitters on Broadway. Yes...it is so. He was wearing the same outfit I always see him in (black skinny jeans, leather jacket and his hat). He was with an olive skinned woman with long black hair parted down the middle. I see him frequently at the Cha Cha Lounge and various other places on Pine Street. He seemed to be in fair condition compared to how I typically see him.

[carnivorous chicken]

Beatyoass, despite your unfriendly name, you have given me hope. Slats is alive... and has been spotted! The game is on! Maybe I will have to create some kind of prize. But I am not in Seattle now, so that will have to wait. Slats... with a woman! With the leather jacket and the hat! Way to go Beatyoass!

As for poochiekafelnikov, I can only assume that you too have fallen victim to some kind of substance, perhaps that for which Slats is famous? I'm trying to visual you and Slats engaged in conversation, perhaps over the wording of a personal ad... "Do I mention the New York Dolls look? Will chicks really fall for the hat? If I mumble will it make me seem smarter?"

Today has been a great day. Thanks. Remember, photos posted would be the fukcing icing on the top of the cake. In fact, I will send you a prize. What it will be, I don't know yet, but it'll be good. Promise. But the photos have to be verifiably recent.

[beatyoass]

[QUOTE=carnivorous chicken]Beatyoass, despite your unfriendly name, you have given me hope.QUOTE]

Well, Carnivorous Chicken, I'm glad I could help. I usually see him a couple times a week. I'll keep you posted.

As for my unfriendly name...it is quite deceiving. I was just angry when I chose it. Maybe I'll change it now that my anger has subsided.

[poochiekafelnikov]

this is cultural evolution?...it is my hope that my grandchildren will hear an out bert or ernie call clifford the red big dog a fuckin flee bag or see rosie odonell get arrested for finger flickin the alert red whistle of an excited jack russell....find a new rosebud fellas, slats has become a bipolar ricky schroeder who wears kool-aid rouge and who frequently ties his shirts at the midriff...fancyfootin it down broadway...mumbling lust for life with rotted teeth and benedryl baited breath...head back to port orchard and help your daddy with his nets...there'll be no shame

[carnivorous chicken]

Mr/Mrs/Ms poochiekafelnikov:

Damn Dude, I think you got what Slats has been after all this time. Next time you see him, howzabout sharing?

[i, of the storm]

I saw him twice today.

I repeat, this game sucks. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. No, wait, it's like looking at fish in a barrel. Actually, it's like being in the same zip code as a barrel.

[dan10things]

Ha ha ha, this cracks me the fuck up. No Slats sightings in months... but I will say he's looked almost exactly the same since the first time I saw him in about 1984 on the Ave, that's amazing on it's own. I did see Junior today though... he seems to be over his big infatuation of with wearing fake WWF wrestling title belts, but still has the headphones and dances in the middle of the sidewalk like he has for the past 20 years.

[Crow]

I saw Slats yesterday, on Broadway, crossing Harrison, going north, with a girl. He was not wearing a hat. Repeat: he was not wearing a hat. Just the moderate rocker shag hairstyle, white shirt, jeans, and a leather jacket, I think.

[carnivorous chicken]

Whoa Fuck Me Jesus! Slats spotted again! And without his trademark Slats (TM) hat! No way! I thought he might have been bald or something. Now, the big question is: what happened to Slats' hat?! It's like Linus' blanket or something. Or so I thought. Anyone dare to ask? Will he be back to his hat wearing days soon? Or has he abandoned the hat, and next will drop the whole New York Dolls thing in favor of say, circa '89 Flavor Flav? Or maybe make the next logical progression: start dressing like Buster Poindexter?

I, of the Storm, gotta say for crying about how much this game sucks, you keep playing. But, I might add, playing badly. No details with the description? Shit, how can we be sure you didn't see a Slats doppleganger? Or maybe you are confusing Slats with the guy with the sword, Conan? How do we know that you know?

And it is truly an honor, and I mean that, to have a linchpin of Seattle punk rock playing the game. Welcome Dan Halligan, a man who needs not hide behind nicknames; a man universally respected since the days of 10 Things Jesus wants You to Know through Tablet. And not only does Dan score points, he does so with an update on Junior, which I thought had become a mere footnote to the game. Yesss!!!! Junior!!!! What if Slats starts dressign like Junior, and Junior starts dressing like Slats? Who would win in a fight? Slats or Junior? Crack or heroin? OK, unfair, I have no idea if Junior smokes crack. But he's bugged out for sure.

Dan, you rule!

Still waiting for photos. Promise a prize when I get back to the Seattle area in April or May.

[poochiekafelnikov]

retaining his moe fine hair and supremely crow footed. slaps was spotted on broadway. stuck on the imbedded brass lindy steps; repetetively doing the dance. ma!....pa!....blind sistah!....olsen! channeling laura ingalls wilder and pinching his nipples. a matted and dirty jack russell was nearby; his? each time he's spotted, reminded of what seattle once was.

[bobcat]

Slats was celebrating 2007 with us at Kincora sunday night. Great times. Party on Wayne

[carnivorous chicken]

Yes! Slats spotted again! Dancing and drinking! Has anyone told Slats he's being watched? Still waiting for photos. Slats could even post his own photo and win the as-yet-unnamed prize. Or you, dear reader, could beat him to it...

[the slashers]

I put him on The Slashers guest list at El Corazon after he called me during load in. He got in a fight of sorts with a few ruffians who he thought were picking on him. And had to be separated from one of them outside the back door for his own safety. He's been off the junk for 2 years but still likes his liquor. He's good people. The last Silly Killers vinyl sold on eBay for $86, before that they ran from $60 - $66.

[carnivorous chicken]

That is a relief. Reports of Slats' demise were premature, and the fact that he is off the junk will allow us all to spot Slats for many years to come, I hope. Still, not so muc hdetail in terms of what was Slats wearing, etc. And as I have continued to say, where is the damn photo?

Each repsonse brings up many new questions. Is Slats on the internet ever? If so, has he bought himself a copy of his former band's record? Has he seen this thread? Has Slats, since last being photographed (some time in the '90s?) become a vampire and is now immune to being photographed? Do digital cameras capture vampire's images?

Thanks to everyone who is keeping this interesting. Photograph, please.

[carnivorous chicken]

Hey there Mr Slashers... I didn't even notice you posted a picture. You win the prize. I will track you down and we can figure out a good one. Game's still on for anyone else if they want to write an update or send in a photo. Where's Slats?

[poochiekafelnikov]

splendid news...slats is on the program...sponsorless, he hangs out all day at the caphill alano club...double and even triple-dipping during sharing sessions. with his berllin-era lou visage, he has so much to say: "dr. bob was actually three credits shy of being an actual doctor, so from now on he's just bob" "wilson wasn't actually a broker, he was a speculator. so along with being a capitalist, he was a liar," "my idea of god is unconditional love and it looks like a ramone. i call it chipotle mudflats johnson. i am resplendent in its divergence." this saturday i plan on taking him to a solution-based meeting in burien. there he will be assigned a sponsor, a greeting position, and will be placed lovingly on the steps. there is hope for slats....but his oi and anarchy stained converse's have to go.

[Alligator Wine]

I remember Slats when he was young and funny and smart. Cute, too, in a gangly sort of way. What is everyone's problem, picking on the poor guy? Don't you losers have anything else better to do than stalk Slats?